New Life

So, I've been invited to a party-like/gathering next week, normally I don't usually go to these sort of things because I'm not up to it but this is different - and major.

To most people, they have these every weekend but this is the first time I'll be spending time with people from College, outside of College and most importantly my Theatre Group. As you know from my previous posts, I struggled to make friends and to trust people - consistently being told to take a chance but I never did and the last 2 weeks of College I became spontaneous and acted myself!

I always feel like I have to put a front on for everybody, as if I don't they may not like me or my personality - so next week is going to be the night where I am myself, where I don't care what they think of me! The holidays have been a mix of happiness and sadness, my confidence has shot down below what it even was, it's time to build it up again. It's time for a change!

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Remember what I told you about my Auntie Jackie, Nana Lake and Grandad Lake? Well they surprised me with a bunch of presents for doing well in my AS Levels and GCSEs (I recieved an A in Theatre - had to point that out!) Also, they have paid half of my Pandora Fish charm and also bought me a safety chain for my Pandora Bracelet! I'm being spoiled by them, and all I really needed was their love and acceptance which I have had all along regardless! My family is slowly expanding, soon one of my cousins is going to be having a baby - I'm actually so excited for her and she has stood by me since the day we found each other! 

Family-wise my heart is becoming complete, I love my family and recently my mum has treated me to things too! We've become so much closer, she's my best friend, my world and my everything!

My Pandora Earrings, me and my mum went halves on!

Face Of The Globe Update

So I don't keep much contact, but I do tend to nosy at the important dates such as Results and London Finals!

How did Chloe do, may you ask?

She did absolutely amazing, despite not coming first she came 3rd! She has also won her place at Disneyland Paris, subject to a sponsor - so if you're looking for a beautiful face with a smart personality then you know who would be perfect to represent you!

She is surely a pageant princess in everybody's eyes, especially her family!

She also won the Miss People's Choice Award and Miss Publicity which she worked her arse off to achieve, so that's a huge achievement on its own.

I don't doubt that this will be the last we see of her, soon well see her with a well deserved crown and glory - with all our support too guys!

Keep an eye out!♡

I love all you readers! ♡

Beauty with the Brains too!

So despite my feud with my baby sister, I am having these proud maternal moments with her absolute FANTASTIC results!

How amazing are they? Honestly?! It goes to show that you can have a beautiful person on the inside and out who also has brains!

Chloe will be competing in the Face of the Globe London Heat this weekend, so please support her and like her photo to win the public vote:

https://www.facebook.com/FaceOfTheGlobePage/photos/a.625067197612804.1073741903.315879388531588/625091280943729/?type=3&theater

Also, Please donate to the Rainbow Child Foundation (CHICOS CHARITY, js) through her sponsors page:

https://www.sponsorme.co.uk/chloelake/online-fundraising-prize-draw.aspx

It'd be such a big help, and you'd make me smile - and you all know I hardly smile :D

V Festival 2014

So last weekend I went to my very first festival in Weston Park: V Festival! When people say your first festival is one of the greatest experiences of your life, they weren't exaggerating!

Among the line up were: Justin Timberlake, Ed Sheeran, Example, Bastille, Kaiser Chiefs, The Killers, Jason Derulo, Sam Smith, Aloe Blacc, Pixie Lott, Ceelo Green, Jess Glynne and lot's more...

It's not difficult to say that Justin Timberlake was beyond AMAZING! But even the acts that weren't headliners were absolutely mind-blowing!! Trust me, a festival is an experience that cannot be replaced, especially spending it with one of your best friends<3

I thought I'd do a packing list as there's not many around that give a full checklist at all, so here's mine (and some extras I forgot to bring)

- Tent: Preferably one person bigger than how many people are going for example, if 2 people are going it's best to get a 3 man tent if you're sharing! What we also found useful, was an extra tent to store all our things, it made it a lot easier for sleeping space. (If you use a pop up tent, ensure you know how to get it back down, because it's very tricky)

- Blow Up Mattress/Roll Up Mattress and A WORKING PUMP: To put it straight, the ground is probably bumpy wherever you camp, as the ground doesn't always grow straight - we had a blow up mattress but our pump failed to pump it up and despite using the deflated mattress on the floor it was still very uncomfortable. So a blow up comfortable mattress is an absolute must.

- Sleeping Bag+Extra Blankets: Extra assurance to keep you warm!

- Bug Spray: You are going to get bugs wherever you go, this can range to a variety of little beetles and money spiders - mainly in the daytime, bugs aren't a problem at night time.

- Clothes for all weather: this includes jeans, shorts, jumpers, macs and tank tops.

- Shoes: Wellies are all you need really, but converse are a good alternate/extra.

- Onesie: It can get EXTREMELY cold at night, a onesie is good for all weather and will keep you warm! 

- Alcohol: It's a lot of money for alcohol at festivals so bring your own- Just not in glass as glass is not normally permitted on campsites

- Snacky foods: Just goes by saying

- Dry Shampoo: Your hair can get greasy easily

- Tooth Brush + Tooth Paste: Again goes without saying

- Toilet Roll: Just in case the portaloo runs out

- Plenty of water

- Lights for inside the tent at night

Check out My Festival Piccys Page too...

About Me... ♡

Name: Nicole Jade Lake
Age: 17
D.O.B: 29/12/1996
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I live with my mum and see my Grandad and Grandma often, My dad lives in Leicester with his wife and my 2 younger half siblings Chloe + Carl. Also at Leicester are my other Grandparents, and my uncles and cousins and my Aunty/Godmother Jackie♡♡
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I have 4 cats, who live with me and 2 who live with my Nan and Grandad!
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My hobbies consist of Drama/Theatre, writing and working believe it or not.
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I work at a Hotel in the Conference & Events department and sometimes Breakfast!
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My favourite colours are hot pink and light blue, however my favourite colour combination is Black and Hot pink.
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My favourite series' are Charmed, Glee and Orange is the New Black.
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My favourite songs are:
You've got Time by Regina Spektor
You haven't seen the Last of Me by Cher
Money on My Mind by Sam Smith

A New Beautiful You!

So, since I was a child I have had such big problems with skincare and what products don't cause me an allergic reaction - that was until I discovered SOAP & GLORY which actually is a gift from heaven!

If you have sensitive skin, then the ingredients within Soap and Glory are absolutely perfect for you! It has made my skin, hair and body almost spot free.

My soap and glory checklist is being completed consistently and hopefully I hope to complete the collection despite new additions constantly being added!

This is only a short post, if you want good amazing skin - check it out; seriously you won't regret it and the scents are DEVINE!

Better to Cry or Better to Talk?

So recently I met my Uncle Kevin + his family including my cousin Shannon - who is absolutely stunning, and I also met my Auntie/Godmother Jackie and My Grandparents from my Dad's side. This had to be the scariest thing I have ever done, and even scarier things happened a few days later.

For over 15 years I have not had contact with my other family, things happened and my dad has a new loving family with two children other than me - so obviously you could think it's rude if I tried to come in between that. So a couple weeks ago I took the initiative to go meet some of my other family members! I came home with a HUGE smile on my face and my Auntie Jackie is becoming like my best friend!

But it seemed like everything had gone wrong that weekend!

Not going into detail but my Mum and my Dad's wife were basically having a Facebook War, and on the Friday I received a message from my half sister about this - so it started off being a feud and an argument. But then to emphasize how much I did want to meet my Dad one day, I told her that I'd met his family so of course I'd want to meet him - except my Dad took it as being behind his back :(.

The feud between me and my half sister and my mum and her mum has eased off now but this is why I wanted to write this post: The after effects!

I am currently on a Selective Serotonin Reuptake inhibitor: Fluoxetine or more commonly known as Prozac. This is a type of Anti-Depressant I was prescribed and I am also on a waiting list for Counselling. 

Obviously, some suffering with moderate or severe depression are prone to stress and can become very down every so often, and also people often think someone who is depressed cannot be happy.

THIS IS NOT THE CASE!!

I can be the most cheerful person you can meet, or I can be the most miserable - that's down to my feelings and perception of situations. So I wanted to use this example to show how perceptions can be changed to gain a better outcome.

My Initial Reactions:

"I'VE RUINED EVERYTHING"
"MY DAD HATES ME"
"MY WHOLE FAMILY WILL HATE ME"
"THIS IS ALL MY FAULT"
"MY BIRTH JUST SHOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF IT CAUSED ALL THESE PROBLEMS"
"I'M NEVER GOING TO EVEN SPEAK TO MY DAD"
"THERE'S NO POINT IN ME GOING ON WITH THIS"

So for days, up until today I was consistently thinking these statements, that in the past could have led me to self harm. But there's ways of overcoming these statements and now my thoughts are this:

"I didn't ruin everything, I did something that mended a hole in my heart"
"Hate is a strong word, he wouldn't be the sort of person who'd hate his daughter"
"My whole family don't hate me, I have my Mum, Nan, Grandad, Auntie, Grandad Lake and Nana Lake - they all love me no matter what mistakes I pursue"
"This isn't all my fault, contributing factors added to this becoming a situation"
"My birth was a gift to my mum, and I don't think I should think bad of my mums decision to keep me - everything happens for a reason"
"Nothing's Permanent"
"I will continue being in contact with the other side of my family, as I do not want to upset myself or cause them to lose me again"

This is called CBT - Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (The ABC Method).

This is where an action has happened, and belief has been made so a consequence is a result but by changing a negative belief to a positive belief you change a negative consequence to a positive consequence.

Remember, YOU ARE STRONG!

"Say what you mean and mean what you say" - Steven Winder

"Nothing is Permanent!" - Gary Lake