Better to Cry or Better to Talk?

So recently I met my Uncle Kevin + his family including my cousin Shannon - who is absolutely stunning, and I also met my Auntie/Godmother Jackie and My Grandparents from my Dad's side. This had to be the scariest thing I have ever done, and even scarier things happened a few days later.

For over 15 years I have not had contact with my other family, things happened and my dad has a new loving family with two children other than me - so obviously you could think it's rude if I tried to come in between that. So a couple weeks ago I took the initiative to go meet some of my other family members! I came home with a HUGE smile on my face and my Auntie Jackie is becoming like my best friend!

But it seemed like everything had gone wrong that weekend!

Not going into detail but my Mum and my Dad's wife were basically having a Facebook War, and on the Friday I received a message from my half sister about this - so it started off being a feud and an argument. But then to emphasize how much I did want to meet my Dad one day, I told her that I'd met his family so of course I'd want to meet him - except my Dad took it as being behind his back :(.

The feud between me and my half sister and my mum and her mum has eased off now but this is why I wanted to write this post: The after effects!

I am currently on a Selective Serotonin Reuptake inhibitor: Fluoxetine or more commonly known as Prozac. This is a type of Anti-Depressant I was prescribed and I am also on a waiting list for Counselling. 

Obviously, some suffering with moderate or severe depression are prone to stress and can become very down every so often, and also people often think someone who is depressed cannot be happy.

THIS IS NOT THE CASE!!

I can be the most cheerful person you can meet, or I can be the most miserable - that's down to my feelings and perception of situations. So I wanted to use this example to show how perceptions can be changed to gain a better outcome.

My Initial Reactions:

"I'VE RUINED EVERYTHING"
"MY DAD HATES ME"
"MY WHOLE FAMILY WILL HATE ME"
"THIS IS ALL MY FAULT"
"MY BIRTH JUST SHOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF IT CAUSED ALL THESE PROBLEMS"
"I'M NEVER GOING TO EVEN SPEAK TO MY DAD"
"THERE'S NO POINT IN ME GOING ON WITH THIS"

So for days, up until today I was consistently thinking these statements, that in the past could have led me to self harm. But there's ways of overcoming these statements and now my thoughts are this:

"I didn't ruin everything, I did something that mended a hole in my heart"
"Hate is a strong word, he wouldn't be the sort of person who'd hate his daughter"
"My whole family don't hate me, I have my Mum, Nan, Grandad, Auntie, Grandad Lake and Nana Lake - they all love me no matter what mistakes I pursue"
"This isn't all my fault, contributing factors added to this becoming a situation"
"My birth was a gift to my mum, and I don't think I should think bad of my mums decision to keep me - everything happens for a reason"
"Nothing's Permanent"
"I will continue being in contact with the other side of my family, as I do not want to upset myself or cause them to lose me again"

This is called CBT - Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (The ABC Method).

This is where an action has happened, and belief has been made so a consequence is a result but by changing a negative belief to a positive belief you change a negative consequence to a positive consequence.

Remember, YOU ARE STRONG!

"Say what you mean and mean what you say" - Steven Winder

"Nothing is Permanent!" - Gary Lake