An Experience to Remember

Have you ever thought of putting 3 of the most craziest people you know together, on an early Sunday morning?

I have, it's definitely an experience I won't forget.

January 2016, I took part in one of my first shoots with Andy Bristow, an award-winning and also the Miss England North West heats interview photographer. I first met Andy at Miss Bolton last year, and we immediately got along as we couldn't grasp why I couldn't take a picture with my eyes open - it was quite funny to say the least. I met him again at Miss Lancashire, I was far better at not blinking, but it seems Andy was still the giddy photographer considering he whacked Chelsea's (Previous Miss Bury and also Miss Lancs finalist) drink over with a simple swift of the arm, haha. But one thing I loved about Andy, is the pictures he'd come back with - they always without a doubt made me smile. So at Christmas, I booked my first shoot with him.

Another familiar face who shared this with me was the current Miss Bolton and Bury, and my number one girl: Laura Collins - who pulled an all nighter from her job at a popular nightclub to come to mine at 7am Sunday morning and make me beautiful. As you have seen, Laura is mainly in front of the Camera but this time she was involved in making the pictures through make-up, hair styling, dress providing and also directing - which you'll see soon. I'll never be able to express my gratitude towards Laura, but her being proud was the best feeling imaginable.

Alongside these two wonderful people, was my Mum, the most particular and detailed person I knew - immediately we all knew we'd be in for a fun day. 

First location: Forest

This was actually an idea of my Mum's, she liked the type of forest shoots so Andy sent us on a 'floaty dress' hunt around Amazon. At one point he was helping us look up dresses, I can't imagine how his internet history would have looked. Eventually we found one, in my 'go-to' colour, red. And I can honestly say it was a extremely cold morning, and getting changed in a forest didn't help. Laura can back me up on this, she stole my clothes, my shoes and even my scarfs.

The highlights:

Watching Laura transition from being sleepy to being bouncy jumping and singing on logs. My Mum being given one job and not even able to do that (ended up dropping the white umbrella thing of Andy's in the mood) Me falling everywhere. Dogs surrounding us (a husky named 'Princess' ended up on Laura's back) and not to mention, Laura trying to fold a moon shaped disc back into it's small bag.

The Photos:

Second Location: A hidden gem in Preston

Let me just say, this location was devised from the clockworks in Andy's mind. He went from sports car to old car - quite a strange process but it was amazing. Andy found a very spectacular back garden, featuring old classic cars, old fashioned petrol station, even a Cinderella style cart. It was truly hidden and truly amazing. Tony and his wife were immediately accommodating and couldn't provide for us enough, I was still freezing from the forest so he switched his home-made fire on in the garage - it became a regular sitting spot for Laura and I.

The Highlights: 

I had woken up at this point, and I had just noticed just before Andy takes a picture he smiles really big; and this made me giggle. Laura took to the director's chair and came up with some smashing ideas and her car which is always full of her stuff became so useful. And some of the last minute ideas became beautiful shots, I even got the chance to wear Laura's Miss England dress from Just Boutique, Horwich.

The Photos:

There's quite a few in this category so I selected a few favourites:

Third Location: The Home Studio

This was like a club rave with the music, I wanted some natural shots really without the perks of a location - so we went for the studio. Which it's safe to say, the pictures once again came out amazing which just proves Andy's talent. I also was able to borrow Lucy's (the current Miss Lancashire) Miss England dress which I absolutely fell in love with. 

The Highlights:

My Mum was the funniest at this shoot. Andy would give me certain directions, and my Mum was at the side copying every single direction Andy gave to me. As well as this, some of the direction like the signal to say 'come here' I just couldn't grasp. AND ANDY FINALLY PUT HIS PHOTOGRAPHER t-shirt on (which I had be waiting for the entire time)

The Photos:

Make up and Hair: Laura Collins

Photographer: Andy Bristow, http://www.andybristowphotography.co.uk or 'Andy Bristow Photography' on Facebook

Control from the Charm.

I wanted my comeback blog post to be inspiring in response to not posting in quite sometime - so he we go.

I have not yet posted my own experience, unfortunately I have not been able to come to terms with it as fast as I wanted to. I've wrote several blog posts about my experience with a being in the past but never had the willingness to post any of them. So here I go, with a deep breath... my story that only few people outside my family.

Many of you will have met a charmer. The guy who sweeps you off your feet and makes you feel like you're living a fairytale; begins to make you feel beautiful and perfect and makes you happy... Yeah I met somebody like this; and unfortunately it was the best cover up my family and I had ever encountered.

But the thing with charm.. is that it often comes with control. And within a few weeks, completely oblivious to my eyes, I was beginning to be controlled.

There was now certain people I wasn't allowed to speak to or mention. If I was to say a guy is good looking, that'd cause an argument. I was made to believe that my colleagues and best friends hated me and just put up with me. And consistently told not to speak about our business to any of them. I was then convinced my family were out of order and that I needed to get away from them. I had to stay up till they'd gone to sleep whether on the phone or in person. If they needed me, I had to drop everything and go to them otherwise an argument was caused.

Suddenly, my clothes and make up became an issue "your eye shadow does nothing for you" , "I don't like that outfit" and "can't you do something with your hair"

Next minute, it seemed that my money was also their money. I was buying his food, his petrol, his clothing at one point - even funded his night out too. My money wasn't mine anymore, I even took money from my savings account saved by my family because I became really bad with money.

If I didn't show interest in a particular subject and laughed it off.. that was an issue then they'd list the flaws that I have and make it appear to be me that's the problem. I couldn't have a better job, I couldn't be smarter and I couldn't have a greater achievement.

Further on from that, I'd be called names in an argument ranging from "rat", "sket" to "a fucking mess" - towards the end (luckily) one threat was even mentioned "or I'll back hand you"

I stopped putting on makeup, stopped being happy, walking on eggshells and cried quite regularly. I let myself completely fall in the gutter.

This isn't love. This isn't Prince Charming. This is poison. I was so close to losing my friends and family.

The worse thing is that, so many girls/women are going through the SAME thing and aren't realising. They are prepared to lose everyone and fight for this guy, who they believe love them when in fact it's all a one man show.

This post isn't to name and shame, hence why no names are mentioned. It's up to those around me who choose to believe who they think it's about. I've posted this to ask other girls, to look at themselves and if they see this... to stop. To think. And if it's happening, to change and walk away.

It's the best thing I ever did, but I almost got too far in the act.

Girls, you are empowering women and don't let a man change that 💕