Control from the Charm.

I wanted my comeback blog post to be inspiring in response to not posting in quite sometime - so he we go.

I have not yet posted my own experience, unfortunately I have not been able to come to terms with it as fast as I wanted to. I've wrote several blog posts about my experience with a being in the past but never had the willingness to post any of them. So here I go, with a deep breath... my story that only few people outside my family.

Many of you will have met a charmer. The guy who sweeps you off your feet and makes you feel like you're living a fairytale; begins to make you feel beautiful and perfect and makes you happy... Yeah I met somebody like this; and unfortunately it was the best cover up my family and I had ever encountered.

But the thing with charm.. is that it often comes with control. And within a few weeks, completely oblivious to my eyes, I was beginning to be controlled.

There was now certain people I wasn't allowed to speak to or mention. If I was to say a guy is good looking, that'd cause an argument. I was made to believe that my colleagues and best friends hated me and just put up with me. And consistently told not to speak about our business to any of them. I was then convinced my family were out of order and that I needed to get away from them. I had to stay up till they'd gone to sleep whether on the phone or in person. If they needed me, I had to drop everything and go to them otherwise an argument was caused.

Suddenly, my clothes and make up became an issue "your eye shadow does nothing for you" , "I don't like that outfit" and "can't you do something with your hair"

Next minute, it seemed that my money was also their money. I was buying his food, his petrol, his clothing at one point - even funded his night out too. My money wasn't mine anymore, I even took money from my savings account saved by my family because I became really bad with money.

If I didn't show interest in a particular subject and laughed it off.. that was an issue then they'd list the flaws that I have and make it appear to be me that's the problem. I couldn't have a better job, I couldn't be smarter and I couldn't have a greater achievement.

Further on from that, I'd be called names in an argument ranging from "rat", "sket" to "a fucking mess" - towards the end (luckily) one threat was even mentioned "or I'll back hand you"

I stopped putting on makeup, stopped being happy, walking on eggshells and cried quite regularly. I let myself completely fall in the gutter.

This isn't love. This isn't Prince Charming. This is poison. I was so close to losing my friends and family.

The worse thing is that, so many girls/women are going through the SAME thing and aren't realising. They are prepared to lose everyone and fight for this guy, who they believe love them when in fact it's all a one man show.

This post isn't to name and shame, hence why no names are mentioned. It's up to those around me who choose to believe who they think it's about. I've posted this to ask other girls, to look at themselves and if they see this... to stop. To think. And if it's happening, to change and walk away.

It's the best thing I ever did, but I almost got too far in the act.

Girls, you are empowering women and don't let a man change that 💕